I saw it coming.
I even prepared for it mentally for quite some time now. After all, sales had been down for months now, and business began to slow. And, I found myself rummaging through random web site more often than usual during the day. Work was slowing. And I knew what was coming when my boss IM’s me one morning last week:
“Hey, can you come in here to chat”
Uh oh…whenever he’s says that, it’s never been great news.
“Is it good or bad?”, I reluctantly reply.
“It’s not bad…” He manages to respond.
Uh huh.
“Well…..it’s not horrible…” He continues.
Great.
My hours have been cut in half. It seems my measly pay was too much for their downed sales and they needed to take half my income to help things out. Me, the one who just had a baby and could have used those few extra bucks to pay for diapers and formula and the occasional new clothes.
Needless to say, I’m taking the news harder than I planned for. Selfishly, I feel like my pride and my spirit have been broken. Suddenly becoming the lowest on the totem pole really reeks havoc for one’s self esteem and drained of all motivation. I’ve been dumped and asked to remain friends (you know, to help out with moving furniture or picking them up from the airport). Or even worse, I’ve been punched in the gut and then offered lollipop to make it all better.
Can you tell I’m a little emotional?
Now my head is swimming with concerns...
Will we be able to make it month to month without struggling? Will Max have everything he needs and wants? Do I need to find a second job? Do I need to find a new job altogether in this horrible economy? Will we ever be able to buy that house one day? Are we stuck in this little one bedroom apartment until Max ends up sleeping on the couch once he outgrows his little crib?
Jeremy seems far less concerned that I am. His simple solution for us is to play the ‘wait and see’ game. We’ll budget and reprioritize expenses. Maybe that won’t be a bad thing anyways. We’ve been meaning to really clean up our act.
Plus, I’ll have the chance to really cook dinners again. Something that I’ve been laxed on for quite some time now. I actually miss cooking dinner with Jeremy walking in the door from work and delightfully saying “Oh, something smells amazing!”
And, I’m really trying to see the one positive aspect that’s coming out of this: I get to spend more time with Max. Now that I’ve been back to work, not more than a month or so, I find myself missing him during the day. I’ll glance at one of his photos on my desk and I can’t help but smile at his overly adorable chubbiness and can’t wait to go home and grab him up in my arms.
That one inspiration is what’s holding me together through all this.
Jeremy reminded me, that we tend to get some really down times in our life…for a while, but always seem to find our next opportunity to thrive…for a while. We struggled when I wasn’t working after we got married and when I thought all was hopeless in finding a decent job, I lucked out on this eccentric, yet homey and family company (which is probably while I feel so hurt by it all). Jeremy went through hell working at Countrywide for years until he lucked out and found a great job doing something he’s so passionate about.
We’ll survive…we always do.
That doesn’t mean I can’t complain and worry in the meantime!
I only hope this shaky point for me now won’t last too terribly long until I stumble upon the next big thing.
Whatever that may be.
*Max had his four month doctor appointment yesterday. He’s a whopping 16 pounds! Doc said he’s above average in his growth and in his developmental skills (duh!) and is a healthy baby. Unfortunately, he had his second doses of immunizations and is recovering from their lousy effect. Jeremy was shaken up while Max screamed bloody murder. It’s a good thing I wasn’t there for his appointment…I would have followed Max’s suit….
I even prepared for it mentally for quite some time now. After all, sales had been down for months now, and business began to slow. And, I found myself rummaging through random web site more often than usual during the day. Work was slowing. And I knew what was coming when my boss IM’s me one morning last week:
“Hey, can you come in here to chat”
Uh oh…whenever he’s says that, it’s never been great news.
“Is it good or bad?”, I reluctantly reply.
“It’s not bad…” He manages to respond.
Uh huh.
“Well…..it’s not horrible…” He continues.
Great.
My hours have been cut in half. It seems my measly pay was too much for their downed sales and they needed to take half my income to help things out. Me, the one who just had a baby and could have used those few extra bucks to pay for diapers and formula and the occasional new clothes.
Needless to say, I’m taking the news harder than I planned for. Selfishly, I feel like my pride and my spirit have been broken. Suddenly becoming the lowest on the totem pole really reeks havoc for one’s self esteem and drained of all motivation. I’ve been dumped and asked to remain friends (you know, to help out with moving furniture or picking them up from the airport). Or even worse, I’ve been punched in the gut and then offered lollipop to make it all better.
Can you tell I’m a little emotional?
Now my head is swimming with concerns...
Will we be able to make it month to month without struggling? Will Max have everything he needs and wants? Do I need to find a second job? Do I need to find a new job altogether in this horrible economy? Will we ever be able to buy that house one day? Are we stuck in this little one bedroom apartment until Max ends up sleeping on the couch once he outgrows his little crib?
Jeremy seems far less concerned that I am. His simple solution for us is to play the ‘wait and see’ game. We’ll budget and reprioritize expenses. Maybe that won’t be a bad thing anyways. We’ve been meaning to really clean up our act.
Plus, I’ll have the chance to really cook dinners again. Something that I’ve been laxed on for quite some time now. I actually miss cooking dinner with Jeremy walking in the door from work and delightfully saying “Oh, something smells amazing!”
And, I’m really trying to see the one positive aspect that’s coming out of this: I get to spend more time with Max. Now that I’ve been back to work, not more than a month or so, I find myself missing him during the day. I’ll glance at one of his photos on my desk and I can’t help but smile at his overly adorable chubbiness and can’t wait to go home and grab him up in my arms.
That one inspiration is what’s holding me together through all this.
Jeremy reminded me, that we tend to get some really down times in our life…for a while, but always seem to find our next opportunity to thrive…for a while. We struggled when I wasn’t working after we got married and when I thought all was hopeless in finding a decent job, I lucked out on this eccentric, yet homey and family company (which is probably while I feel so hurt by it all). Jeremy went through hell working at Countrywide for years until he lucked out and found a great job doing something he’s so passionate about.
We’ll survive…we always do.
That doesn’t mean I can’t complain and worry in the meantime!
I only hope this shaky point for me now won’t last too terribly long until I stumble upon the next big thing.
Whatever that may be.
*Max had his four month doctor appointment yesterday. He’s a whopping 16 pounds! Doc said he’s above average in his growth and in his developmental skills (duh!) and is a healthy baby. Unfortunately, he had his second doses of immunizations and is recovering from their lousy effect. Jeremy was shaken up while Max screamed bloody murder. It’s a good thing I wasn’t there for his appointment…I would have followed Max’s suit….
2 comments:
Elly, I am sorry about the job and the cut in hours, but you are right, you guys will survive and you will get through this. Though, it is hard to see that right now. Trust me, I know those feelings all too well.
Max is looking mighty cute in that picture and 16lbs? Do you realize he weighs what Marisa weighed at her 9 month appt (hey now, she's petite. Those Chinese genes I tell ya).
He keeps getting cuter. I swear I'm not going to be able to put him down when i see him. Which will probably make Marisa jealous.
I'm really sorry to hear about the cut in hours, Elly. I know you guys will be OK financially -- as you said, you two have always found a way -- but I know where you're coming from when you talk about it being a personal blow. At my last company, which was struggling badly (and continues to struggle), it seemed like nothing I did was good enough. I busted my ass day in and day out, but they just stopped caring. And when I left, they were less concerned about losing a great employee and more happy that they could now bring in someone who made less than me. And I tell you: That hurt.
But as you said: This gives you a tremendous opportunity to spend more time with Max. And don't lose out hope about finding another job (if and when you choose to look) in this down economy. People are still hiring and opportunities are still there for someone as talented as you.
It's the dumb asses that need to worry. :-)
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