What about Max?

…baby steps out the door…

…baby steps into the car….

…baby steps to the store….


Thank you Bill Murray for a frame of reference for my introduction.

So, I faced one of my biggest fears since discovering just how fussy a baby Max has been: Taking him out in public.

Now, I’ve been able to take him to my parents most days no problem. Although, not sure if driving the two miles door to door counts as ‘going out’. But, venturing out into the ‘real’ world has kept me hidden behind closed doors, barely seeing the light of day; a growing problem that was becoming all to comfortable. I knew I needed to at least try, if not for him, than for my own well being and sanity as a human. After all, I can’t stay a hermit for too long.

What was I so afraid of?

Well, the fact that he cries….a lot…. and he must be held at all times when he’s awake….oh and did I mention the high pitched, loud screeches? I was afraid of being stuck in the middle of some store with this hysterical child that would draw onlookers, eyeing me as some insensitive and horrible new mother that couldn’t console her own baby. Would they see the terror in my eyes? Would they find tears that would probably fall from embarrassment? Would they hear the desperate shh’s and coo’s I’d try to calm him with?

What a silly reason to hide. After all, many people take their babies out. I shouldn't be any different. Right?

Mission One: A visit to work.

I’ve been postponing visiting my work for weeks. I would get constant questioning of when I would bring Max in, and of course I would always reply with, “Maybe next week, he’s so fussy,”. I couldn’t use that line forever, and had to face the inevitable. That morning, after weeks of postponing, I planned ahead by giving Max a bath, making sure he was changed and fed and mostly sleepy before strapping him in to his car seat. I lugged him and his overly stuffed diaper bad to the car while letting out a sigh as I started the engine.

“Let’s do this,”.

As I stopped for gas on the way (my mistake), Max became hysterical. I capped the gas cap and quickly fled the station and headed for work, figuring that the car ride there would lull him to sleep. Fortunately, after a few miles he began to calm down, and to insure his sleep, I drove a few extra miles around the area, all the while I keeping my finger on my boss, Marty’s number just in case I had to abort the mission. A block away from work, I got out of the car and peaked in the back to make sure he was alright. He was.

Upon arrival, I was surprised to be greeted by so many waiting for little Max’s grand appearance. He got passed around, held, and cuddled by everyone. It was perfect, no major crying fit! By the end of the visit, Max was out like a light, and I was even able to catch a quick lunch with Marty to catch up. All in all, it went fantastic!

Mission Two: Going to Target

A few weeks passed since the successful trip to work, however, I was once again falling back into the comfort of home and the fear of stepping out of the house. I needed to push myself and attempt to take him shopping. I had a few things I needed at Target, so off with the car seat and diaper bag I went.

By the time I parked, he was asleep. An added bonus to this trip. I popped the trunk and began the struggle to get the massive stroller out. With the heat beating me from all directions from the mid day sun, I gave up on the stroller and remembered I could just place his car seat carrier in the store’s cart. Quite a ‘duh’ moment for me.

The two automatic doors slid open with a woosh, and I entered the store letting out another silent sigh of anticipation. Things were going smoothly, until I got too cocky and spent longer than I originally planned (I just had to wander in the baby clothes section). Max woke up. I see his big eyes staring up at me from his seat.

“Crap,” I thought.

I took a lap around the store, thinking that the vibrations of the wheels and cart would lull him back a sleep, just as the car ride did. And it worked! By the time I made one lap, he was more or less asleep, and I was able to quickly get through the check out, back into the car and on my way home, the ‘Safe Zone’, all without a scene. Mission accomplished!

Mission Three: The Grocery Store

I was on a role. Two trips out and all with success. I was facing this fear head on. The very next day from the Target trip, I ventured to the grocery store.

Now, perhaps, I was getting a little too sure of myself at this point.

I didn’t even make it ten minutes before Max woke up. And this time, the crying began. My heart began to race, as I clenched my teeth. I figured I’d try the ol’ lap around the store to calm him down, but by the middle of the frozen food section, there was no hope that he would fall asleep. Luckily I had a bottle prepared, and whipped it out to feed him strapped into his car seat in the grocery cart, right next to the frozen pizzas, tequitos and burritos.

A lady passed me by, and I wondered if she thought the things I originally feared. But, at that moment, I realized I didn’t care what she thought. I was taking care of my son, and with a couple ounces of formula in his stomach, which was enough to satisfy him for the moment, I gave up on the rest of my grocery list and quickly headed for the register.

Maybe I got a little too cocky with my new found strength, as I’m now sitting cozy once again on the comfy couch, hesitant to reach the door knob to the outside world.

Bob Wiley had it right…..baby steps to the door…..baby steps to the car….


Edited to add: Since the last unsuccessful store mission, Jeremy and I, together this time, ventured back to Target. Max woke up yet again half way through and began throwing a fit. We ended up carrying him the rest of the outing. Like I said, he’s more or less content if he’s held. However, it’s easier when you have someone else there to push the cart.

And no, he doesn’t like the Baby Bjorn or any other carrier. Max is just destined to keep us on our toes! Good thing he’s so adorable!